The Secret the Darkness Completely Concealed

This is the companion song to my memoir chapter of the same name.

Words by Mark L Berry
Music by Plain White Toast
Performed by Plain White Toast

The Secret the Darkness Completely Concealed – lyrics

(cut lyrics)
At my local deli the owners even took down their sign
“No Shirt” and “No Shoes” was suddenly fine
And they gave free cream-cheese bagels to topless girls standing in line
I was sandwiched between them and gladly paid for mine

(cut lyrics)
This is a story about a gal not worth mentioning by name
But it’s a lesson in life worth remembering all the same
She’s a girl that I’ve tried very hard to forget
One of two true deceivers that I’ve ever met

She had a six-month rule, I only learned later
That was how long she’d let someone date her
Before she moved on, because her stories would unravel
She hated to be dumped, so she’d pack up and travel

But this time was different; she had another plan
Only later I learned, that she’d slept with another man
Without protection of course, and nature kicked in
She insisted it was mine and stop living in sin

(cut lyrics)
And suddenly she found God; suddenly she’s pro-life
She didn’t ask, she demanded, to become my wife
I attempted to discuss the options remaining
But her mind was made up, she ignored my campaigning

I refused to get married on account of the baby
But I didn’t rule it out—after it’s born, well just maybe
We’ll see how we’re doing, and if our relationship grows
We’re not ready now, but in the future, who knows?

I’ll never forget what was revealed
The secret the darkness had completely concealed
I’ll never forget what was revealed
The secret the darkness had concealed
The secret the darkness had concealed

Mending our relationship was back on the table
We weren’t getting along, but somehow we were able
To be civil at night, after we turned out the light
And do something together, instead of fight

We worked our way up to the rhythm we’d known
My abs rocked her belly that barely had grown
And she received every thrust with a passionate moan
Until suddenly they stopped, like she’d hung up the phone

And wet, I felt wet, more than any orgasm yet
But something was wrong, that I couldn’t interpret
So I asked her to tell me if she was all right
But all that I heard was the silence of the night

I asked her again and still got no reply
So, I gently got up and set out to try
To turn on a light and see what was wrong
It was then that I wished that my stomach was strong

(cut lyrics)
There was blood, blood, and more blood, literally everywhere
Her body was covered from her toes to her hair

(cut lyrics)
It pooled on the mattress and dripped onto the floor
And bloody red footprints had followed me to the door
I too was naked and covered in red
And her eyes froze in shock as I returned to the bed

She’d miscarried her baby at the worst possible time
And the scene of our lovemaking now looked like a crime
The bed was a red puddle and the walls were all splattered
But she was still breathing and that’s all that really mattered

(cut lyrics)
I scooped her in my arms and took her to the shower
And rinsed us both off at this ungodly hour
I rolled up a towel and squeezed it between her thighs
She still wasn’t talking but there was a response in her eyes

It took every ounce of my strength and remaining willpower
To distract her from shock as I cleaned her in the shower
I made her close her eyes while I scrubbed us both clean
I washed away more blood than I’d ever seen

(cut lyrics)
I said, “Stay in the bathroom” and handed her a receiver
Get an ambulance coming, we have to leave here

I cleaned up the room as fast as I could
Losing this much blood couldn’t be good

(cut lyrics)
Sitting in the tub she hadn’t dialed 9-1-1
She said, “It’s a boy. I don’t wonna lose my son.”
“We have to go to the hospital right away.”
“No.” She said, “No. They’ll take him away.”

(cut lyrics)
“You’re hemorrhaging inside; you’ll die if you stay.
Your life is at stake, you need to do as I say.”

I got her out of the shower and into her car
Even running red lights, the hospital seemed too far

(cut lyrics)
She survived the experience but her pregnancy died
And soon after that night I found out that she’d lied
There were lots of indiscretions, and the identity of the father
Will always be a mystery, but why even bother?

(cut lyrics)
She blamed me for all this because six months had gone by
And I hadn’t proposed and she’d continued to lie
And she knew that I’d leave her when the truth came to light
And it’s my fault that her God took her baby that night

(cut lyrics)
We parted ways, severed clean, never more to be seen
If you’ve ever been lied to then you know what I mean
But as we move forward we bring with us our past
To make better futures and look back in contrast

It’s a time I now remember only as a life-lesson learned
Some sort of emergency merit badge I earned
I was tested that night to deal with severe trauma
And with that lesson learned, I’d had enough of her drama

(cut lyrics)
One aversion to children that I’d always had
I didn’t think that I’d be a very good dad
I was squeamish and knew it and felt a dad should be
Strong in the stomach and never get queasy

(cut lyrics)
When his child gets hurt, a dad needs to be there
He needs to be able to provide urgent care
That I might not be able to handle this chore
Was my biggest fear that I felt to the core

But as bad as this experience has weighed on my soul
I know that it’s pulled me out of a very dark hole
Now I know I can handle what life throws my way
I can ignore all the blood and still do OK

13,760 Feet–My Personal Hole in the Sky

**13,760 Feet*–My Personal Hole in the Sky***