– Performed by Cleveland Brown & Mark L Berry
– Written by Christopher Madden and Mark L Berry
ODE TO THE WORLD’S GREATEST JUNK STORE, THAT’S NEVER OPEN
Cleveland Brown and Mark L Berry performing Closed
Written by Christopher Madden and Mark L Berry
Lyrics –
G D C D
Way up to Maine, on the byways so green
Is the world’s greatest junk store, that anyone’s seen
There are antiques and nick-knacks, In abundant supply
But don’t bother stopping, ‘cause there’s nothing to buy
G D C D
We said hi to the owner, and he gave us a glare
He looked just like Santa Claus, with his white beard and hair
He pointed to the closed signs, that hung all around
He shook his head, and spit on the ground
G D C D
He said people are no good, and I’ll tell you why
They try to bargain and haggle, over everything they buy
I tell ‘em something’s twenty, and they offer me ten
So I point to the signs, and tell ‘em again
(chorus)
C G Am F
We’re closed, closed, and everyone knows
Thirty-eight signs, and they all say so
Maybe you can’t read, or you’re just a little slow
But it means we’re not open, so just head on down the road
G D C D
He said, “My name is Salvage, but any friends cal me Sal
And I ain’t no junk picker, but you should see my pal
Every barn in New England, basement or pier
Has coughed up its treasures, and now they’re all here”
G D C D
I’m not really sure why, he gave us the tour
But he led us inside, to the wonders galore
I said you’re not open, and that’s plain to see
But fifty bucks says that salmon, comes home with me
(2nd chorus)
C G Am F
Sal said, “We’re closed, closed, everyone knows
38 signs, and they all say so
Maybe you can’t read, or you‘re just a little slow
But it means not welcome, so head on down the road
Bridge
Em C G G
Well I got the wooden salmon, and a Fallout Shelter sign
A calendar of Bettie Page, from 1959
There was a broken jukebox, and records all in stacks
And I swear I saw Jimmy Hoffa, stuffed in a trunk in the back
Next time you’re in New Hampshire, stop by and tell Sal hello
Now I’m no Nostradamus, but I bet he will say…
(3rd chorus)
C G Am F
We’re closed, closed, and everyone knows
Thirty-eight signs, and they all say so
I don’t know why you pulled over, or what you were hopin’
But you’ll sooner catch a Bigfoot, then find this store open
(4th chorus)
C G Am F
We’re closed, closed, and everyone knows
Thirty-eight signs, and they all say so
Maybe you can’t read, or you’re just a little slow
But it means we’re not open, so just head on down the road
‘cause we’re closed!